what is merit? or, how I would like to bitch slap my high school guidance counselor

So I had a random memory today of my physical therapist, Vitaly.  During the usual chitchat that I assume was supposed to distract me from the painful and tiring processes, he told me that a lot of younger trainers and therapists were getting not only Masters degrees but also Doctorates.  And those with the most schooling, no matter how green, were favored for employment.  Over those with more experience, yet "lower" degrees due to the fact that a Doctorate didn't exist when they were in school.

Well, if only it worked that way for me.  I'd like somebody, just one employer, to overlook a few things in favor of arbitrary information.

How am I supposed to keep up with all of these HR prejudices that seem to contradict one another?  They want good schools, but also lots of experience.  They want responsible employees, but shy away from advanced degrees.  It all seems designed to force me to lie, and that's something I really don't want to do.  I don't want to pretend I already live in Philadelphia, or that I didn't go to graduate school.

Of course I'm assuming that the people with whom I am competing are playing fair.  And I have a sneaking suspicion that they aren't.  To fail and preserve my character, or to win by selling my soul?  That is the question.

I know for sure by now that all my "hard work" in grade school means bupkis.  Not even the whole "it shows you can start something and complete it" bit doesn't satisfy me.  So the existential crisis continues for a third year...what is this life about?

give me a job

A facebook friend posted this a week or two ago:  "what should you value more in a professional experience: quality, or "quantity", that is, length of commitment? is it just my generation, or are most people always looking for a better, more interesting, or just more convenient way to earn their living and enjoy their work?"


Of course the reading of this reminded me of how I am racked with guilt over being one of those Generation Y losers who haven't stayed at one place of employment for multiple, continuous years.  I try to justify, and think over the reasons why I have not stayed.  Well, I suppose it began with college.  I worked summer only.  Then work-study at the Columbus museum came along, interrupted by an internship in D.C.  I did go back to Columbus, yet I doubt that counts as continuity.  Then graduation...and work-study ended and the museum had no place for me.  I volunteered for a few months, worked retail for a few more, then got back into the old Development office for a few months.  Then I had the awesome idea to go to graduate school.  Ooops?  More work-study, but there wasn't enough work to last past May both years.  Summer jobs.  Unpaid internships.  Volunteering.  Substitute teaching.  2010 Census.  Then finishing the last 4 months of the Zanesville museum's education grant.


I want to know, quite simply and unequivocally, does the past decade of my life make me ineligible to work for a living?


Because it was all supposed to do the opposite.

critical thinking

I remember it from the corners of grade school textbooks:  "Critical Thinking," a section of the chapter most often ignored (to all students' relief) for the more palatable multiple choice questions and bullet points.  In a recent conversation, though, it came to me that the lack of critical thinking is at the root of almost every stagnated argument.  Why weren't we encouraged as children to practice that most important of skills?  To listen and learn, but not to take anything for granted, for gospel.  Analyze.  Criticize.  Think.

For example, during my time homebound with my father, I have often run into political and ideological stalemate.  I have often lamented the whole "us versus them" trope that makes everything so black and white, life and death.  All I hear pertaining to Muslims and mosques is parroted from the latest Fox News program, filled with emotional fallacy and hatred and fear.  Any disagreement on my part is often met with harsh words...or at least they felt harsh to me.  To disagree is not to be narrow-minded, or insolent, or aggressive.  I do admit to being "aggressive" on New York subways, if indeed looking into someone's eye is an act of war, but I just can't not look, you know?  And I just can't not voice my opinions and observations.

The thing is, it is ungratifying to say the least when saying my part does not propel us into meaningful dialogue.  Who wants to be shut down with a curt "No, you're wrong"?  Even children don't accept that crap.  They ask why.  And grownups scramble for some watered-down explanation of sex or pregnancy or profanity.  It is our natural instinct to question and explore.

So why am I seeing all these signs appearing to say "Don't question" and "Don't think"?  If you want to contradict me, come up with something better than "No."

Just now, reading the book Heaven, I came across a Muslim scholar fighting against the lack of critical thinking within Islam itself.  What Americans might consider Islam is in fact an overly literal, Puritanical interpretation that forbids all questions.  An "uncritical adherence" to the Qur'an.  Sound familiar?  These "Puritans" ignore history and cultural context and foster the ideas that lead young Muslims to terrorism.  Of course, this is a simplification...read the book.  But either way, it tells me that I've been onto something, because I see uncritical adherence in many religions and ideologies.

So to put it critically, people have been asking the wrong question:  it's not which religion is the right path (a nice, simple either/or that many are comfortable with) but how does religion lead us down the path?

Reject the literal, forget the grade school adherence to whatever the teacher tells you.  Think for yourself.  It's nothing new, but it sure could solve a lot of new problems.