The majority means comfort and safety. We tend to be so confident when we just know that most of those around us share our beliefs or opinions. Because I like that sense of safety, I feel the need to agree; I crave agreement as much as my poor self craves approval. Take the current issue going on with the OSU band. I have a lot of friends who are band alumni, and when you consider the larger band program that includes more than football games, I am one of them. This makes me want to say "I stand with Jon" and change my profile picture. To do so would bring me a sense of unity with old friends and even strangers.
So why haven't I done it? As much as I crave agreement and belonging, I look at the issue from a different perspective. That perspective puts me in the minority. The minority, unlike its counterpart, means risk and adversity. Voicing a minority opinion is risky because it can bring about "flame wars" on the internet or even end friendships. That's what I'm afraid of, now. There's a nagging voice in my head that says, "Jon may be a nice guy, but these allegations are quite serious and should not be taken lightly." I can say that I think the university acted rashly and purely for the sake of appearances by firing the director, yet I keep thinking about the students involved more than I think of him. How would I feel, if it seemed that band leadership didn't take my personal safety seriously? How would I feel, if a fellow student assaulted me but justice was never done? My positive memories of the band do not outweigh the harassment any one band member may have experienced. It is those thoughts that prevent me from "standing with Jon" as much as I feel that termination was an overreaction.
I should be clear that even our perceptions of majority and minority are flawed. If I were just some random citizen with no connection to the band, I might not feel like my opinion put me in the minority. I suppose I'm using the two terms in a more qualitative way than a quantitative one, since I haven't actually taken a poll of how many people think A as opposed to B. The reality is that I am closely connected to the band and its culture, so my instinct tells me to hush up.
And it's the hushing up part that bugs me. My instinct doesn't seem so different from the sensationalized picture of secrecy that the media is painting. Go with the flow. Don't you have a sense of humor? Lighten up. If you don't like it, you can leave.
Since when was belonging to a family or community or organization predicated on agreeing on every single thing? It reminds me of the article I read about the #JewsAndArabsRefuseToBeEnemies campaign. In the article, Gutman describes how friends are scared of posting with the hashtag for fear of reprisal in their respective communities. If I take my own feelings about the band and ratchet them up by, say, a thousand, I think I'm still underestimating the anxiety these people are feeling. For them it is not just "Hey, my friends think this, when I think that," but it seems to get at the heart of their cultural and religious identities. On top of that, as the article emphasizes, this "minority" message they would send if not for fear is a peaceful one!
So back to my hunch about experiencing both positions, majority and minority. If you always go with the crowd, you never know that inner struggle. And if you always choose the contrary side, you never feel that sense of belonging. Both are important for understanding where the other guy is coming from. If I let myself think that my friends are denigrating women who allege sexual harassment, the situation only gets worse. If Israelis perpetuate the idea that to criticize the occupation is a yes vote for Hamas, then peace is still light-years away. This idea that "If you're not with us, you're against us," needs to go away.
Essentially, I'm still enough of an idealist to believe that as long as we can imagine life in the other guy's shoes, we'll be kind, thoughtful, and just people. We would be slow to judge and slow to anger, because it takes time to consider both sides of an issue in a thoughtful way. Many a hasty comment or post would be avoided!
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